How to Stop Judging Yourself

So glad you want to learn how to stop judging yourself. It’s an important topic that many people struggle with. In this post we’re going to look at self-judgement for what it is, and understand it out of existence.

But before we do, how about we pause for a moment, and just take a deep breath?

I know, it feels really good!

And that’s exactly what you’ll be feeling like, by the time you’re done reading this post.

Let’s begin with a story, which serves as a clear illustration of what self-judgement is and how you can overcome it.

A gentleman walked into a supermarket, did his shopping, and arrived at the billing counter. Soon it was time for him to make a payment, so he handed over his credit card, picked the bags and left.

Just as he was keeping his shopping bags in the car, he went like, ‘wait a minute, am I missing something?’ And he quickly removed his wallet, only to find that the credit card was not there.

He immediately knew he had left it at the billing counter, and quickly rushed back. He felt stressed while rushing back to the counter. And ss he reached there, the staff, happy to see him, gave him his card.

While he felt a sigh of relief, as he was walking back towards the parking lot, he noticed some mental chatter. The voices went like, ‘how could you be so careless, what if you had not found that card,’ and on and on, his mind was ruminating about the situation and how it could have had negative outcomes.

Let’s just say, even though he should have felt happy about the fact that everything was fine, he was feeling a lash of self-judgement reign on him.

In fact, he felt that this self-judgement was more worse than the prospects of losing the card. The voices were mean and hateful. They lacked even the slightest amount of empathy for him. All they knew was what they knew, and it was nothing but torment.

But the man had in him a contemplative spirit. And he immediately knew this can’t be right. The hostility his mind showed towards him was uncalled for, and outright stupid.

So instead of starting his car, he just sat in there and observed all that was going on. The thoughts, the emotions, and tried to understand what was hiding behind the curtains.

And as he looked deeper in himself, he found that all these voices had their roots in a thought that was rooted in fear.

As soon as he had realised, he didn’t have the card, his mind was quick to imagine a self that was a victim of card theft, and all the consequences that he’d have to face because of it.

His mind was on a roll, and had assumed that it was his master, and that it had a free pass to insult him, to blame him, and to criticise him.

All by using the false flag of fear, that set off this reaction that we call self-judgement.

To his astonishment, he found that his mind called fear – security, and the absence of fear – insecurity.

This insight left him flabbergasted. Fear is security for the mind! Wait a minute, my mind sees fear as security? And then as he looked deeper, he found that, his mind knew fear, but it had no concept of the absence of fear.

The absence of fear is the absence of time. And the mind can only relate with time, it cannot relate with that which is presence.

The mind cannot comprehend the timeless. Ah! Look what I found, he thought. He saw through the futility of the false functioning of the mind to create security, when none needed to be created.

He saw, that his mind can never create security, it can only create that which is of its own nature, and its nature is time.

Seeing that thought is time, and time can never create security, he knew what his mind was seeking, his mind was seeking the invention of a self that would feel secure in time. Which truly means a self that would feel insecure.

Having seen through the hoax of this false operation of the mind, that said, I need to be someone who is perfect and there in that need for perfection was the mind wanting to create someone far from perfect, someone hoaxed, a false entity, that lives in time.

And this false self that lives in time, can have no security, for it itself is an outcome of time. No one ever found any security in time. Time only produces insecurity, only the timeless is truly secure.

The gentleman had a big smile on his face. He had understood the dynamics of life; he had understood the greatest secret of life; that he wasn’t someone invented in time.

And seeing that all judgement is in time, where he isn’t, it would be impossible for him to judge himself, for there would be no one there to be judged, for there would be no time. Only presence rules the day.

He saw all he needed to do then when he became aware of the absence of his card, was nothing, but to just go pick his card, and leave.

Seeing that only presence is perfect, and that presence never punishes anyone, including one’s own self, he released himself from the lies of his mind.

That day, he saw through the utter futility and uselessness of self-judgement.

Let’s just say, he drove back home a happy man.

Still Wondering How to Stop Judging Yourself?

The answer is, what self?

The right thing to really do in any situation is to be present and respond to the best of your ability.

Life is never happening in time, it is always happening now, and so, there is no question of any judgement, because when you are busy living, who has the “time” to judge, and who is there that can be judged?

So the right thing to do when you make a mistake is to simply seek to be more present in every moment. And that’s really it.

No drama, no self criticism, no worry, no matter how much the habitual mind demands it, see that what is truly good for you, never seeks to punish you. And plus, as mentioned earlier, no amount of self-criticism can create security.

And that which seeks to tell you that you are a loser, that you’re a bad person, is a lie, invented in time, that can’t know anything about life, that is happening right now.

We’re talking about getting real. We’re talking about doing away with the illusions of the mind and the self that lives there, and embracing your timeless true self, that is loving towards itself and everyone else around.

Remember, you will have to make a deliberate attempt to drop the thoughts that seek to judge, and when you do, it can feel like a scary thing, but the fact is, it is absolutely safe to say goodbye to the thoughts that say you need to create security. Remember, security already exists right now, in this moment, so the need presented by the mind is a lie, for time cannot create security.

Live happily in the royal timeless self which is already complete in every moment, and you get to feel good about who you are, every moment of your life!